It Didn't Rain
by Chips Dip
Summary: Princess Sally dies. Sonic is broken. Amy is trying to pick up the pieces.


It didn't rain that day, no matter how dark and ominous the clouds grew. A strong breeze blew throughout all of Mobius. It felt as though it was spreading the darkness, the depression further into the atmosphere of everyone's lives. And while everyone was preparing themselves to see the Princess for the last time, I couldn't help but wonder what Sonic was doing.

I remember that the news spread like wild fire. There wasn't a soul around the world who didn't hear of her passing. It was like a worldwide catastrophe. Flowers flooded the surroundings of her castle. It wasn't like a typical funeral. It wasn't just a family in mourning. When she died, it was like a spirit of freedom and justice died along with her; the whole world would miss her. But I know, no one took it as hard as Sonic did.

The truth is that Sonic had only told me weeks earlier that he was with Sally. He broke my heart when he told me he was picking Sally over me; when I think of all the devotion I gave to him before then, I feel as though I can justify my sadness over their relationship. I had practically given my life away to him, I would do anything for him… I was foolish not to think that it could have resulted the way it did. It was foolish to think I could have won him over Sally.

I can recall perfectly how I sat looking out at the stars wishing for a miracle to find its way into my life. Oh, I remember how much I wished I had never met Sonic. How much I wished that I had fallen in love with someone who would have appreciated me. And yet… in all my pain, there was still a part of me that knew I wouldn't trade all my experiences with Sonic for any other life in the world. I remember how when I sat gazing into the sky, in the corner of my eye, I caught two figures racing down the pathway to my home. As the shadows drew closer to my house it was clear to see who had come to visit. Or so I thought.

I raced to my front door to greet Cream and her mother. I wiped away my small tears and flung the door open with as much enthusiasm as I could muster, but instead of seeing cheerful faces, Cream threw herself at my waist and slowly slumped to her knees overcome with grief. I found myself both surprised and panicked as I tried to pick her up to a standing position. I looked to Vanilla for an answer. There was an awkward silence where only Cream's sobs were heard and then Vanilla spoke.

"The Princess… Sally… she's dead…"

I felt my stomach churn and my knees felt like they were going to give out. I gripped the door paneling for support. The words took a few moments to truly sink in. A thousand questions were running through my head. How could Sally die? I had seen her alive only a few days ago. What happened? I always thought Sally was untouchable…

There's no denying it. I really was envious of Princess Sally. She was strong, courageous, graceful, beautiful… Sure many people said I was the same, but she, she was different. We were different. When I watched her, I felt as though she was everything I wanted to be. I loved and hated her at the same time. And now, the girl I strived to be like… was dead? The questions poured in again.

What? When? How? Are you sure? You've got to be wrong.. It's impossible…

Though I wanted to question everything Vanilla had just told me, the only words I managed to spit out were, "Where's Sonic?"

Shortly after Vanilla and Cream came to break the news to me, we composed ourselves and headed over to Tails' workshop. I ran the whole way there. I didn't listen to Cream's cries to "slow down" or "wait Amy!" My main concern was getting to Tails' workshop and getting my answers. I wanted to understand what I had just heard. Vanilla's words repeated themselves over and over again in my head.

"The Princess… Sally… she's dead…"

"Princess… dead…"

"The Princess… Sally"

"Sally's dead."

I knew what the words indicated. But I felt as though I couldn't wrap my head around it. I slammed open the door to Tails' home and searched for him everywhere. Looking back on it now, it looks like a blurred mess in my head. I remember fragments of what I saw… a couch, tools, dishes, the sink, strange gadgets. I ran through his whole house. But I didn't find him in the kitchen, the living room, or the shop.

"Tails! Where are you?!" I cried in the house. The desperateness in my voice rung out loud and clear. I paused in the middle of Tails living room turning my head, observing everything. Vanilla and Cream entered the room only to watch me.

"Amy, dear, maybe he isn't home."

I stopped to think about her words. If Tails wasn't home where could he possibly be? And what about Sonic? I felt anxious as I tried to think of every possible answer when the sound of sniffling and footsteps crept up behind me. I quickly turned around to find Tails emerging from the one room I mindlessly ran past: his bedroom. He was grasping a blanket in his hands. His innocent and hopeful face was blemished with tear stains and bloodshot eyes.

"Tails," I whispered gently. I approached him slowly and offered myself to him in a hug. He was slow to embrace me, but it didn't take long for him to shake the unfamiliarity off. It was only a matter of short moments before he hugged me back and strong. He let out muffled sobs into my shoulder and I did nothing but let him cry. I rubbed the back of his head and gently kissed the top of it. "There, there Tails. You're not alone anymore."

As I held Tails I turned my gaze to Vanilla who also held Cream close to her. The sight of a very distraught Tails brought a new sense of sadness over little Cream who silently wept for the two tailed fox. No one knew Sally like Sonic and Tails. Tails grief was very apparent and loud. I'm sure Cream had never witnessed such sobs before… and I'm sure that to see Tails so upset was killing her inside. Just like anxiety was killing me…

I softly cupped Tails face and had his eyes meet my own. "Tails," I began, but that was all I said before he interjected.

"Amy, I don't know where Sonic is…"

No one had seen Sonic anywhere until the day of Sally's funeral. Her funeral was a huge public event. It took them a whole week to plan it out. And for an entire week I felt like I was dying of my own fears and worries. Every day I waited for news about Sonic. I waited for him at Tails home every night. I went to Sally's home to find him or hear news of him. I searched for him at every moment I could. I stayed up almost every night waiting to see if he'd show up. I didn't eat, I didn't drink. I was waiting. I was worried.

The night before Sally's funeral I had decided to spend the night at Tails house. I had babied the two tailed wonder that whole week. I cooked for him, talked with him, cried with him, I even put him to bed though he didn't need me to. Truth be told, I wore myself out. Every other night I had saved enough strength to stay awake and wait for Sonic, but this particular night my strength gave out. After I put Tails to bed, I only remember sitting on his couch watching the news, and then awaking to the sad morning everyone was dreading.

That morning I traded my usual pink dress in for a black one. I looked myself over in the mirror as I finished putting it on. I felt as though it didn't look as nice on me as my pink one did. But… there was something becoming about the dress… it fit my body well. It was close to the skin unlike my usual choice. As I smoothed it out over my thighs again I remembered how I wanted my wedding dress to feel like. Was it selfish to think about my dreams for a wedding on the day I was going to say goodbye to an old friend? Sometimes I wonder why I even ask myself that. I already know the answer.

The journey to the Cathedral in which the funeral processions were to be performed was mostly silent between Tails and I. We avoided the route that we knew would be swarming with media and crowds from out of town who had both come to pay their last respects, as well as to simply shed an extra spotlight on the Princess who was already gone. I would like to think that Tails and I got closer during that week of suffering. I am never too sure... sometimes I think I catch a glance or a smile that means more than what it normally would…

But if there's anything that I am sure of with all my heart, it is that I know I was dying to ask Tails about Sonic on the way there, and I did, as humbly as I could.

"Tails," I began slowly, "I haven't seen Sonic anywhere. At all. This whole week!" I stopped and waited for a reaction. He didn't turn around to meet my worried face or anything. I carefully continued. "I'm just worried.. Tails. I, I feel like I can't stop worrying until I know he's safe." I felt my hands clench in the desperateness of my last words.

"He's hurting Amy." Tails finally spoke. "I haven't seen him anymore than you have. But I don't need to see him to know that he's probably dying right now."

Tails delicate blue eyes now faced me. He had stopped walking. I felt my whole body tense up.

"He was… they were together, Amy. I don't think I can explain it any better than that. He's hurting with all his heart right now, I'm sure of it. I don't know where he's been or what he's doing right now but I bet you anything. He wants to be alone. Maybe…"

He paused.

"I just don't know."

As we continued walking, I thought about Tails words. I knew what he was going to say. All the times I followed Sonic. All the times I thought he was gone. I remember exactly how I felt in the most weakest of moments. If Sonic died I think.. maybe… I would want to die too. The rest of the walk with Tails I spent praying to myself that Sonic would have more strength than me.

Though we had come to the ceremony at the cathedral, it was the actual burial that we, her closest friends, were waiting for. It was going to be private. No paparazzi's were going to be there. The fact that it was going to be more personal made the whole occasion seem much more sentimental to us all. I wish I could say that, that was the reason why I awaited it more anxiously, but it wasn't. Sonic didn't show up at the processions done amongst the masses. I didn't understand why, but I also knew that he wouldn't miss his last good bye.

When we finally reached her final resting spot in the graveyard it was truly a beautiful sight. She had a pleasant spot under a flowering tree. Anything less would be insufficient for a princess. Even with the clouds consistently hovering overhead, it never once rained. There was something pleasant about that as well. But the most beautiful sight I found above all natural elements was the beauty in spotting my blue hero there, waiting under the tree, bouquet of white roses in hand. He looked extremely distraught, tired, worn and weak. You could see that his eyes were red and swollen from tears. His hands were trembling slightly. He didn't look anyone in the eyes. He simply stood there, looking as raggedy as an abandoned old building.

But to me… it was the most beautiful thing I could ever hope to see.

Tails ran up to him instantly. He grabbed at his older brother in sheer desperateness and relief. Sonic embraced him with what little strength he had left. As I watched the sight, it took everything I had within me, to stop from running up to him and taking him in my arms for myself. I was so relieved to see he was ok. He looked like a disaster, but he was a beautiful one.

He glanced up at me once while he embraced Tails. It was short and fast, but I felt the pain in his eyes. It was odd, however, I felt as though he turned away with shame in his eyes. My poor hero… if anyone should have been ashamed that day, it should have been me. While everyone else was thinking of Sally, I was worried sick about Sonic. Yes, others were worried about him too, but I know my concerns for him were greater than the grief I felt for the Princess.

As the final ceremony began I felt some relaxation drift upon me for the first time in a long time. Sonic was ok now, he was standing just a few feet away from me. I could rest easy now. Though part of me wanted to keep my eyes on Sonic all day, I forced myself to acknowledge the others around us as well. I turned to my right and looked at little Cream. She gave me a weak smile and held my hand. I returned her smile and then observed who was at my left. I was slightly surprised to find Knuckles standing there. How long had he been there? He was so quiet! He didn't even say hi… but then again, I hadn't either. He glanced away from the casket that was in front of us and gave me a confused look. I smiled nervously and looked forward again. That little reunion would have to wait.

But it never happened. The burial went by quickly and soon everyone returned to their homes. Well, everyone except for Sonic and I. I kept my distance as I watched him, but I know he was aware of my presence. I leaned against a tree for hours waiting on him. Even though she was gone, I knew he was having a difficulty processing it. He stood in front of her headstone for hours. Then he kneeled, sat, laid. He was going through a rough time. How could I rush his pains? The answer is that I couldn't. I wouldn't.

So I waited, and I waited, and I decided that I would wait for him even if it took forever.

It was already dark when Sonic finally stood up again from sitting in front of her stone. He seemed surprised to see that I was still leaning against the same tree waiting for him. I gave him a gentle smile. He looked bothered by me.

"Why are you still here?"

I was confused by his question. How could he not know? "I, I'm waiting for you, Sonic. I don't want you to be alone. I haven't seen you in so long, I was worried!"

He studied my face closely. It was as though he didn't believe me. "I want to be alone." He stated bluntly.

I glared at him. "I'm sure you do. But I'm not going to leave you."

Sonic glared at me. "This isn't a game and it's not funny either Amy. Go home. I don't need you here."

He was beginning to make me frustrated. "I'm not here because you need me, Sonic. I'm here because I need you."

I paused as he walked over to me. "…I want to make sure you're ok. You think you can just disappear for a week and not expect me to be worried about you?"

"I've been missing for way longer than that before, this time shouldn't be any different. Go away." Sonic had a deep glare in his eyes and I saw the tension in his arms flare up as he clenched his fists at his sides.

"Don't act like this situation isn't different, Sonic! You're hurting. You look like a mess! Let me help you!" I raised my voice at him and quickly regretted it. I felt frightened as he threw a punch against the tree I was leaning on.

"Go home Amy Rose, I don't need you. I don't need anyone right now." He turned his back to me again.

In all honesty, Sonic frightened me with his sudden outburst of violence. Tears rushed to my eyes as I felt the pang of true desire in his words ring out against my pure intentions to be there for him. I wanted to be there for him because I thought it was what was best for him. For a moment I contemplated returning to my house and giving Sonic all the space and time he needed, but in the end, I stayed.

He waited there until the sun rose the next day. I'm sure he would have stayed longer if he had the strength, but he was weak at this point. It was evident in every aspect of his appearance. No one knew where he had been for a week… for all we knew, he could have been running every minute of the days he was gone. That's what I imagined him doing, and if that was how it truly was, then it made sense for him to give up shortly and return for some rest and nourishment.

My eyes never left Sonic for a moment. I watched as he walked away from the tombstone to approach me. There was an awkward silence as I looked at his face and he looked away towards the ground.

I gently reached for his hand and was pleasantly pleased when he didn't retract it and run away from me.

"I'm always going to be here for you, Sonic."

He didn't reply.

Perhaps I was pushing my luck, but was even more content when he allowed me to wrap my arms around him. I nuzzled my head into his shoulder and breathed in his scent. I hadn't been so close to him, so comfortable, so at ease with him, for so long. I felt myself practically melting in his presence as his hands gently wrapped around my back. He was trembling. A few soft cries escaped his lips as he also rested himself on me.

"I miss her," he whispered quietly.

I found myself at a loss for words when he spoke this at me. What could I say that would ease his pain?

Nothing. Nothing would do that of course…

So I relied on the only words of truth I knew. "I love you… You won't ever lose me."

He held onto me tighter for only a moment.

But like all good things, it was short lived. He soon slipped his arms off of me, wiped his tears, and gave me a weak dejected smile. Then he swept me up in his arms and took me home. Once again, it had also been a long time since he had carried me in his arms anywhere.

I missed hearing his heartbeat as he ran. I missed breathing him in with every breathe I took. I missed the comforting feeling of merely looking up and seeing his green eyes full of determination, strength, and fearlessness.

I loved him since the moment I first met him. I loved him then, and I still love him now. Was I wrong to still firmly believe we were meant to be together forever? Was it wrong to ponder the idea that Sally's death was for the better of our future? I felt guilt rise up in me with those thoughts. I nuzzled my face deeper into Sonic's chest.

Sonic kindly ran me all the way to the front door of my home. He gently placed me down and I slowly let go of his shoulders. I smiled at him, grateful for all he'd given me… even though in his head I'm sure he only thought of his kindness to take me home.

We didn't exchange any words as we both looked softly at one another. I was never good at finding the right words to say, so I felt myself panic as I watched him slowly begin to walk away. Acting on pure impulse I ran after him and grabbed his hand one last time. He stopped in his steps and faced me. His eyes gave me a confused look.

"Don't forget it Sonic…" I hesitated, "I-I love you."

He didn't have a reaction. He didn't say anything back to me. I let go of his hand. He sped off.

The second he left, I ran into my home slamming the door shut. I was alone again. My thoughts were my only company; they brought both pleasure and pain, but at this point, I could only feel sadness.

The wall felt cold on my back as I leaned against it and slumped. My eyes stung with tears again. "Why sonic? Why don't you love me, like I love you?" I shouted at no one. There was only darkness in my home. Ever since Sonic had slowly begun to make his way out of my life, it seemed that doubt and disappointment began to creep in. Every day I was plagued with the same questions.

What am I good for, if I can't be Sonic's support? Why doesn't he see how much I need him? Why aren't I good enough?

The last questioned always seemed to linger longer than the others. Always. I don't have a clue how many nights I asked myself that question trying to come up with a plausible answer. But nothing I could ever conjure up satisfied me.

That's where my bitterness first came about. Where it bloomed and flourished into the thorny weed in my life that it was. My insecurities were the first reasons I found for why I would never be good for Sonic.

I wasn't brilliant or extremely talented in anything. I was not quick witted in all situations, I wasn't always resourceful. I was temperamental. I was impatient. I was greedy.

Sally was everything I couldn't be. She was the perfect mixture of refinement and power, Intelligence and beauty.

I felt the pangs of anger rise in me again. Even after her death Sally outdid me.

As cold tears escaped my eyes I gently laid myself on the floor next to the door. I didn't feel the strength in my legs enough to carry myself to my room. It was slightly dirty, cold, and uncomfortable… but I chose to sleep there that night.

BANG. BANG. BANG.

I quickly reached for the back of my head to cover it from being hurt. I was startled awake. As I fumbled in the darkness I remembered where I was. I stood up when I heard the knocking at my door again. Who would be visiting me so early in the morning? The banging rang for a third time.

"Hold on!" I yelled as I dusted myself off. I heaved a sigh and opened the door.

"Sonic?!" I half gasped and questioned. I had barely began to open the door when it flung open and I found myself enveloped by his arms. I gently moved my hands to his chest and attempted to push him off of me... but I instantly stopped at the barely audible sound of his gentle sobs.

From then on, my memories feel like a fast blur. I remember how I simply held him there listening to his tears. I listened for what felt like hours. He cried gently, and then strong. He told me how much he missed her. How he couldn't imagine his life going on without her. He told me how he wished things had been different. How he regretted not being there to save her. How he wished it was him who died instead…

The desperateness in his voice brought me to tears. I held him close and tight when he nuzzled deeper into my shoulder. I gave him more room to breathe when he gently pushed himself off of me.

And I kissed him when he placed his lips on mine.

I knew from the second he flew into my house why he had come. He needed me… to vent to, to comfort him.

He came to me, to use me.

He just wanted the pain to go away… I know this because I had experienced the same kind of desperateness when he rejected me. Though I never had gone through the motions of finding a person to console myself in physically, I couldn't take that away from Sonic.

I also believe… that deep down inside of myself.. I wanted to be used.

And that's why I kissed him back. That was the reason why I held onto him, why I let his hands roam my body. Why we fumbled to my bedroom... like two stupid teenagers.

It felt like magic the entire time. I enjoyed the sound of his moans when we kissed deeply, when I bit him.

Ultimately, we had slept together.

It was in the heat of the moment. A fleeting fancy, if you would. It was only that… or rather, that's what Sonic would think about it when he finally woke up to his senses.

As we held each other, separated only slightly by thin bed sheets, I felt peace. There was no stress of the worldly events taking place around us. There were no worries about sadness or loneliness. It was blissful…

So I whispered it to him. I guess I didn't care what he would think, but I know in my heart I wanted him to say it back to me.

"I love you."

But he never responded. He only held me closer, or caressed my body more. I had to remember that he had come to me in desperateness, not in love. Anxiety rose in my chest as I realized that maybe he'd wake up and call it all a mistake…

But he didn't even do that.

When I woke up, he was gone.

I guess, even in our deepest pains, some things will never change… and some people never learn.


End file.
